This is a silly phenomenon that i would say to myself. It was the ugliest moment where i found myself tears rolling down "drastically" and "heavily" when i imagined myself in the position of her at her age. She is a new colleague that i am just getting to know her in a company seminor of myipo. She is friendly and she mention to me her age of 41-year-old. She hasn't get married yet. And, she mentioned that she join the company for 6months old with the manager position. She was in 2 dates before but fail. And, she was seeking for our opinions on getting know about the guy that she is interested in, who is 45yrs old. She is shy to be direct to the guy because she not wanting to let the guy feels that she is desperate. But she wanna know if the guy is having a fiance or not so that she might be having a chance.
I am feeling down after seeing this situation. I am too scared if i might be in her position in future. I dont want to be looked that eager like her for a companionship at that age. But, do i have a choice? So, i would want to have the relationship recovery. Please, god, don't fail me that way, I cried. I was wondering if i am all alone and so lonely for everything in future. I dont need a manager position. I dont like being an iron lady. I am not. I just can't be strong all the times. I cant handle my life alone so lonely, i think. I need a companion. I need cares. And then, i cried harder. So stupid!!!omg!!!
Does anyone ever know that i am really interested in having a complete own built family? Everyday when seeing those mommies bringing their kids to kindergarten, i am imaging if i am their mommy. I want to be a mom.
Soon after that, i went to Stadium and jogged for 5km. I mumbled to myself, saying that i wanna to be looked younger, healthier, slimmer and more beautiful. So, i need to accomplish my target by exercises.
Afterall, it is an emo day, feeling so lonely and seeking for beloved. I am praying hard for that. I need love. I need dates. Omg!!
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