想念有效吗？

宣告不治，只是为了让自己可以往前跨一步而已。不怎么说得起来的潇洒。当然，至今还是有念头想写封信。
写一封没有地址的信。可是，我觉得不会被领悟的。我后天就去日本啦。有想过说一声，可是想想这只会把自己的脸皮踩在脚底下？
那天，发了一场春梦吧。哈哈，画面尽然是和准德撒娇。他摊开手让我憋着靠。可笑，梦里还自问这是真的吗？不久，我醒了过来。对，现实是只有往事。这一刻，默默伤感了一下下。反而，是我想念。。。啊，哭哭!以前，只要我回家乡，就会有个人帮我背行李，帮我打理。看看现在，我什么都没有。超可怜的。😭😭
我就只有那么一次的恋爱。三四年之久，不多吧？以前交往时，就因为要让他留下对我的想念，所以每次回家下车的那一刻，都会要求抱抱。只可惜，这样的做法并没有效。反而，弄糟自己。
我真的真的太久太久没有出去谈恋爱了。所以，看看自己的外表，啊，多糟糕。我老了!可恶!
多久会有人来爱我？这是我现在正问着自己的问题。我老了，谁会陪我一起变老？很自私哦？可是，爱情和家庭始终是我的第一位。老天爷，求求你给我机会了!🙏🙏
我的祈求和想念有效吗？

感动的事

人生最感动的事是在这么恶劣的情况，尽然还有人选择相信我。感动的是，我非这弟弟的谁或谁，却可以把钱很自信的拿给我。
弄到我真的有很不好意思。那是一份心意，钱买不到的友情。多一位弟弟，就是不一样。呵呵。有很想疼他咯 。跟自己的弟弟一样可爱。嗯。。。我也太久没人对我这么好了吧。今早，我多气我自己。不懂干嘛，整身肿肿。量了体重，直接就整天低头笑不起来。我努力的，还是一样。是否因为药物的做用？
我只是一棵干燥的树。自己也不看好自己的那一个自己。小小的一番话真的窝心。
谢谢，阿弥陀佛。愿佛陀保佑。😃

Stupid emo day😢

This is a silly phenomenon that i would say to myself. It was the ugliest moment where i found myself tears rolling down "drastically" and "heavily" when i imagined myself in the position of her at her age. She is a new colleague that i am just getting to know her in a company seminor of myipo. She is friendly and she mention to me her age of 41-year-old. She hasn't get married yet. And, she mentioned that she join the company for 6months old with the manager position. She was in 2 dates before but fail. And, she was seeking for our opinions on getting know about the guy that she is interested in, who is 45yrs old. She is shy to be direct to the guy because she not wanting to let the guy feels that she is desperate. But she wanna know if the guy is having a fiance or not so that she might be having a chance.

I am feeling down after seeing this situation. I am too scared if i might be in her position in future. I dont want to be looked that eager like her for a companionship at that age. But, do i have a choice? So, i would want to have the relationship recovery. Please, god, don't fail me that way, I cried. I was wondering if i am all alone and so lonely for everything in future. I dont need a manager position. I dont like being an iron lady. I am not. I just can't be strong all the times. I cant handle my life alone so lonely, i think. I need a companion. I need cares. And then, i cried harder. So stupid!!!omg!!!

Does anyone ever know that i am really interested in having a complete own built family? Everyday when seeing those mommies bringing their kids to kindergarten, i am imaging if i am their mommy. I want to be a mom.

Soon after that, i went to Stadium and jogged for 5km. I mumbled to myself, saying that i wanna to be looked younger, healthier, slimmer and more beautiful. So, i need to accomplish my target by exercises.

Afterall, it is an emo day, feeling so lonely and seeking for beloved. I am praying hard for that. I need love. I need dates. Omg!!

感恩篇

这时，我在医院等待我的验血报告。
无所事事，就来个日志吧！
心里好多想法。。。
当爱情降临时，我该怎么办？
我想说，我确实期待爱情，渴望爱情。但，现阶段还是好好单身一番。毕竟，这份感情还没结果也没结束。整个过程似乎一个人，我遇见谁了吗？答案是：我很踏实的做自己。我也很安稳的经历寂寞。我也享受这一个人单身的寂寞。没人闯入我的视线。我只是做好该是的自己。

哇塞!超正能量和伟大的自己。是的，我的目标前进了!我的生活从落魄迈向阳光。我看见了!我只需要默默存钱、默默的运动、默默照顾身体健康、默默工作、默默留意比较有前途的工作就好了。

我的生活越过越容易了吧。这是踏实。我脚踏实地。没有负担，只有更快乐!谢谢!

这时刻，我想默默的祈祷我的未来爱情婚姻幸福暴灯。感恩，我今天更前进了。谢谢，我再多两星期出国去日本了。谢谢，所有的所有，我今天进步了！阿弥陀佛!

来张正能量的照片吧！
这是我当公司的晚宴委员的那一天。嘻嘻!自喜取乐!